“ I always thought I was universal.
Although I always wanted to be one plain thing.
Be only on one side.
Be clear, mainly.
But I start to search, Carl…
and can’t find a single aspect of me.. that is clear.
I seem to have a bit of every detailed universe..
I happen to be a universe in one person.”
(Music starts, title of the movie appears in the centre of the screen.)
After all of that,
She goes on. In her cold, blue bedroom.
“I always wanted to look fragile..
kind of.. weak, you know ?
physically speaking, of course..
But I never could.
So I wanted to look.. big, grand.. powerful…
but I couldn´t either.
I was fat, for the first one.
And short, for the last one.
So I couldn’t be clearly any of them
So I wasn’t any of them
because I was both of them. ”
Carl sat quietly and never spoke a word again.
He listened what had been his secret grand love for ever,
who had always covered herself,
now discovering.
“There should have been another way.”, he said.
She looked up to meet his eyes. They both were still hypnotized.
“What for? Be something?”, she asked.
“Yes.”
“I am something, am I not? Haha, I mean.. this must be the other way.”
He thought to himself, “she shines”.
She shined and had never realized that until then. If only she could be his. But there was a hundred miles distance.
She changed the song.
She was feeling for the first time in her life, that these sad songs weren’t the description of her entire life.
“Although”, she thought, “I think I´m still lost.”
, and laughed hysterically.
Manic Street Preachers with “It´s easy to see, it´s easy to see..”, and it seemed that it brought the whole water flavour to her mouth again.
“Father, God and Jesus.. !!”, she tried to stop the music.
But she pressed the Volume button instead of the Pause one.
“Fuck you!!!”
“Not God, the radio”, she thought.
She finished writing the sentence she had in mind. About that day. The way he was looking at her, as if she was a motion picture herself. About the water flavour. And now, yes,
“Stop”.